Harry Potter And The Survivor at The Dursley's
by Ocean Rlack
Summary: The Survivor Show takes place at the Dursley's. The ultimate test of wits, having to stay with the Dursley's, live as a muggle, no magic, dead people come back from the dead and many unexpected guests. But who will survive for a whole year? Muahaha!


Disclaimer: I do not own HARRY POTTER! SURVIVOR! OR THE DURSLEY HOUSE! I'm glad for that last one. But I own the Linsings, (since I am Ed) and I think my brother Keith owns Arista now… And I thank my brother Jim, who helped write this with me… Please… read and review…PLEASEEEEEE! Chapter 1 Survivor 

Hosts- Harry Potter

Jim Linsing

Ed Linsing

Ed Linsing best friend…

LILY EVANS-POTTER

Contestants-Draco Malfoy

Severus Snape

Ron Weasley

Neville Longbottom

George Weasley

Fred Weasley

Lucius Malfoy

Bellatrix Lestrange

Rudolphus Lestrange

Tom Riddle/Lord Voldemort

Remus Lupin

Sirius Black

Albus Dumbledore

Narcissa Malfoy

Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody

Sibyl Trelawney

Minerva McGonagall

Bill Weasley

Peter Pettigrew

Cornelius Fudge

James Potter"with Wand and allowed to kill dursleys and peter

And hex voldemort"

Arista Potter

Troy Linsing

SPECIAL DELIVERY GUESTS:

Severus Snape

Alice Longbottom

Frank Longbottom

Moony(Full moon… arooooo)

Newt Scamander

Rubeus Hagrid(with special permission to finish off turning dudley into a pig…oink oink!)

BUCKBEAK! And Charlie Weasley

Edward Linsing(cackles murderously…Muahahahahaha! Good bye sanity.MUA…hahaha….…..Oh yeah, and…HA!)

Harry Potter- Welcome Guests to Survivor!

Jim Linsing - Today is the start of a new Season!

Everyone-(Crickets)(cough cough )

Edward Linsing- Tough crowd

HP-Well…anyway it's taking place in the home of the Dursleys!

Everyone-(Gasps)

EL to JL-their THAT infamous?

JL-guess so

HP- Any way you will come up here and find out where you will be staying.

EL- When I Call your name please come up, address yourself , and pick randomly your room…Bellatrix Lestrange

BL- Why am I here? Without a wand…Greetings, I'm…

SB-Address my self…I'M NAKED!

BL-Stupid smart- aleck Bellatrix Lestrange(Picks Room) THE CUPBOARD UNDER THE STAIRS!

SB- hehehe I know what I'm doing in the mourning(Laughs menacingly)

JL- Next Up Lucius Malfoy LM- Me? 

JL- yes and your cane please

LM-Here…I'm Lucius Malfoy. But you can call Gay man With long Hair…

DM-Mother…

NM-…

SB/RM/JP(singsong voice)-Lucy Malfoy, Lucy Malfoy…

LM-NOOOO! I have to sleep with Dudley…In a closet! It'll ruin my beautiful blonde hair…Damn muggle.

EL-Up next! Ooooo…Arista Potter! Yay! Come here!

AP-I'm Arista Potter

JP-Oh bloody hell!

JL(walks over to James)-Sister?

JP-Yes…even worse, she's not adopted.

JL(whispers)-I'm your brother-in-law

JP-Who married her?

JL-Keith… my older bro.

JP(thinking)-NOOOO! That means I'm related to Ed!

JL-We all are… we all are.

SB/RL(horrified)-What?

SS-Bloody Hell!

AD-Merlin's beard!

TR-I knew your mother had Slytherin Blood!

HP-You mean I'm related to that nutcase?

ALL WEASLEYS(except Ron)-We're related to It?

Ron(faints)-uhhhhh…(thud)

JL-You're…

MM-What? You mean that…she's related to us? You're crazy, Jim, you've been hit with a bludger one too many times.

CF-What a huge family.

Everyone(except Troy and Arista)-I don't want to be related to her!

Troy-I can't believe I'm related to… Oh nevermind, she's my sister anyway.

AP-There's nothing wrong with Eddy. She's so sweet and innocent. And she's a great person when it comes to pranks.

JP/RL/SB-Really?

JL-How would you know? You've been lost, drunk, for the last three months Arista…Arista? You have been lost haven't you?

JP-WHAT? Arista! You little irresponsible-

HP-Lets continue.

They got everyone settled in their rooms (although no one liked their rooms) and the 4 hosts(well 3 anyway) left. They didn't know that a fox that was watching them from outside was really…

…next Day…

SB-EDWARD LINSING!

EL-Oops, Ed no like yelling.

TR-I don't like you people at all! I want my blanky and my stuffed teddy Snoogle. I'm going to kill you!

JL-You have no wand, and I have this B.A.S(unsheathes blade)

Everyone-A what?

EL-Eddy say B.A.S. Bad Big Ass Sword.(goes off laughing and strangely picks her nose with her big toe while standing on one leg)

JL(watching Ed)-I always knew you were a psycopathic freak.

TR-Watch who you call a psycopathic freak!

JL-I was talking about Ed, You Tosser.

TR-Where's Snoogle? WHO TOOK SNOOGLE!

HP-Now for the first event! Attack the Snoogle!…After someone finds it.

FW/GW(cackles menicingly)-Snoogle…Heeheehee.

TR-NOT SNOOGLE! NOOOOO! What did he do to deserve this? WHAT?

LEP-Lets change the event…Attack Voldemort who is hanging by his left most toe nail mercilessly by chains…upside down.

Everyone got a bat with spikes on it and began attacking TR…it was fun.

HP-Okay! Now it's time to vote someone off!

LEP-We'll do this easily. I'll call out a name and vote them off.

People walk to the fireplace and voted secretly. Here's who some of them voted for.

SB-I voted Snape. It's obvious he won't last in a muggle home for a whole year…wait…why am I voting for him?

JL-He's coming back no matter what.

SB-OHHHH! Okay!

LM-I voted for Severus. He really can't stand muggles. Of course, he can't even stand my great fashion sense either! Can you believe it? Well, I can't vote for myself. I hate muggles too. But I absolutely love the liqour cabinet!

SS-I voted for the mutt, Black.

LEP-Okay! Now it's the Durlsey's time to pick. The hard way! Petunia, if you and your family can do the rest?

The Durlsey's chase Snape out of the house with Spiked bats and frying pans. Vernon had his rifle with him as well.

VD-I don't like that guy! He stunk up our bed! Now it's covered in grease, and we can't sleep in it any more.

PD-I remember seeing him at Kings' Cross Station when that sister of mine and that Potter came back from school and I thought he was the strangest of them… freaks.

DD-More (grunt) food.

End of Day

PLEASE REMEMBER TO REVIEWWWWWW!

My brother has a B.A.S.! remember!

Eddy! (a.k.a, Ocean Rlack)


End file.
